Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The year of the POSSIBLE

HELLO 2015! New Years resolution's are kind of a tricky thing. There are two very difficult parts to the New Year's resolution: concocting them and committing to them. This year when I was trying to decide on what mine would be I realized that I naturally think of New Years resolution's as something I will give up. If you are familiar with the practice of Lent, New Years resolution's are usually thought of as a lot like the Lenten sacrifice. They usually are something like " I am going to stop eating junk food" or "I am going to stop spending money on things I don't need" etc, etc, etc. Every year the resolution is similar and every year the outcome is just the same, it doesn't happen. So this year I decided to do things a little differently.

2014 was a rough year. As Jason described it, 2014 was the year of the vacuum. I spent most of the year dealing with the impossible. The impossible was not only the theme of most events last year, but it was my way of thinking. I was juggling working as a home health nurse, going to school full time, dealing with loss and infertility, being a wife, friend, daughter, sister...and VOILA! there you go, I had my excuse. This was my excuse to pull the impossible card. I think we all do that sometimes, it's easier than finding a way to make things possible.  Honestly, looking back on it, that was such as waste of time and energy. Don't get me wrong, there was some good that came out of the 2014 struggle. Throughout the struggles of last year I met so many people who would not be in my life otherwise, deepened relationships, and did a whole lot of growing. I also learn a whole lot about strength and trust. I am very thankful for these things and I wouldn't have done much differently. With that being said, I have decided this year will be a completely different chapter. This year will be the year of the possible. I am leaving the "Impossible state of mind" where it belongs, in the past.

I guess I feel like if I write all this down it will hold me accountable for my resolutions. The first and most important IMPOSSIBLE to me is Jason and my IVF cycle this year. Actually, the fact that we are actually able to do this still seems impossible to me. Most times I have to pinch myself because I am still thinking " There is NO WAY that this is really happening to us". So I then thought, "if that is possible, then what else is possible?" Well for me the answer is running a 10K. I am terrified...beyond terrified to do this, but I am going to do it. I might need an oxygen mask or possibly CPR, but a 10K is possible this year. Thirdly, I am going to write on a consistent basis. I do not know how to write, never done it before, never tried, but realized that I actually really enjoy it. I am actually taking a creative writing class!

You only get to go around once, so you might as well get your bang for your buck. Matthew 6:34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." I interpret this as God telling us to live for today. Tomorrow is going to come no matter what and today will be gone, can't ever get it back. Cheers to today and 2015!

1 comment:

  1. I learned to live one day at a time 6yrs ago and I'm so grateful for it. You know, Nothing is impossible with God on your side. My favorite quote: You can't Love the life you live , until you live the life you love. Happy New Year honey and I. Praying for you and Jason's success !! Aunt Rawndy